Oh, Humbug
by lyke oh snap
Summary: Marluxia is invited to one of Demyx's Christmas Catastrophe parties, but who can predict what happens during a catastrophe?


The sounds of sleigh bells and holiday cheer filled the open air

**A/N**: So I know this is totally out of season, but you know how sometimes you get this really crazy idea and you just have to do it? Kinda like that one time when you reeeally wanted to shove your brother's face into his birthday cake or that time you slapped that hot guy's ass at the mall or the time when you really wanted that one girl in your chemistry class to really eat shit so you arranged it to where-- oh, but we won't go there! My point: it just _had_ to be done even though it's the middle of summer.

**A/N: **If anyone is wondering about the crazy little thing Marluxia says at the end (stop that scrolling! You'll know what I'm talking about soon enough! tsk) I put my music on shuffle and as I was thinking about what he should say the song "Origin of Love" came on. If you haven't seen the movie _Hedwig and the Angry Inch_ I suggest you do. The music is amazing, plus it's a pretty great movie.

**A/N:** Also, if you have a brain, you should be able to at least guess as to what The Incidents pt 1 and 2 are. Just take a guess. Two years, two incidents. Think about it. Now on to the story. Have some fun and enjoy.

The sounds of sleigh bells and holiday cheer filled the open air. The street lights were bedecked in wreaths and glowing lights, and, clinging to the many surfaces around the town square, was the silvery white remnants of snow.

It took all Marluxia had not to say "humbug" every time a bell ringer called out to wish him a "lovely and blesséd day".

Humbug.

Marluxia wrapped his dark blue scarf tighter around his neck and continued on his merry way down the street around the square.

In every store window everywhere he looked there wee holiday decorations: evergreen trees, teddy bears, pretty papered boxes tied with bows. The silver and gold of Christmas.

Oh, how he loathed the holiday. The merry, cheerful sounds of the world were just too much. All the giving and decoration and, not to mention, the dreadful abomination that is snow!

Yes, the Christmas holiday was, hands down, the worst holiday of the year. (Excluding Ground Hog's Day. That ignorant old mammal dictating when spring should arrive! It was inconceivable! What did a ground hog know about the seasons?)

Marluxia was so caught up in his plans to sabotage Ground Hog's Day that he almost didn't hear his name being called above the ruckus of Holiday Fever. Almost.

"Marluxia! Marly, hey!"

Marluxia turned his head and just as soon wished he hadn't. In the store window right in front of him was Demyx, dressed in a green elf costume complete with pointy hat and curly shoes (need I mention the tights), pounding on the glass window and jumping up and down yelling Marluxia's name.

People in the store and on the street began to stare.

Mortified, Marluxia sharply turned away from the display window and hurried down the side walk.

"Awh, Marluxia, don't be that way!" The jingle of a store door closing a foot steps on the snowy side walk. "Shit, cold! Marly, wait up!"

_Ignore the problem and all will be resolved._

He was approaching a pedestrian walkway in the middle of the busiest intersection in the square. If he timed it just right he could make it through the intersection unscathed with Demyx wrapped around a car.

"Marluxia!"

_Almost there,_

"Hey! Wait!"

_Think fast thoughts, release slow energy,_

"Marluxia!" A hand on his.

_Fail._

Marluxia was pulled roughly into Demyx's face. "What was that about?"

"What was what about?"

"You know what."

"Who we talkin' about?" Demyx pouted. "No. No, Demyx, don't do that, anything but-but"—cue big, sappy, puppy dog eyes—"that."

He was defeated. The powerful pout-then-puppy-eye routine Demyx had was always something that melted Marluxia's frozen heart. (Not meaning that he was cold hearted, but, considering situation and circumstance, standing in the middle of a snow covered side walk and being at the winter wind's mercy, Marluxia was cold all over.)

"You ignored me," Demyx's voice came out ever so sweetly. "Was it something I did?"

"No, Demyx."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, Demyx." Monotony was always the answer.

"Do you not think I'm cute dressed like this?" He cocked his foot up and held out his elf skirt to both sides.

"No, Demyx."

"That's it, isn't it?" Demyx cried out, pointing an angry finger at Marluxia. A crowd was starting to gather. "You don't think I'm cute anymore!"

"Ugh, Demyx, stop this." What had he gotten himself into? Nevertheless, he tried to comfort the crying elf for fear of what might happen if he did nothing. (The looks the children were giving him for making one of Santa's helpers cry would make anyone fearful.) "This is stupid."

"You know what else is stupid? You! I should never have given myself to you, you-you-you poopie head!"

"Oh, such hurtful words from Santa's helper! And whoever said anything about anyone giving anything to anybody?" Marluxia had to think back over that one a few times. "And, anyhow,"—his voice dropped to a whisper as he surveyed the on looking crowd—"people are staring."

"Then let them stare!" Demyx threw himself back and laughing toward the sky.

"De-em," Marluxia was pleading by now, "please just shut up."

"Only if you promise to come."

A look of skepticism.

"Ugh, ew, no. Come to the party."

"Oh," Marluxia scratched his cheek innocently. "I knew that."

"So will you?"

Marluxia's hand dropped. He had forgotten (or at least shoved all the memories of deep into the dark recesses of his mind) about Dem's infamous Christmas Catastrophe.

Every holiday season Demyx held a Christmas party, and each year the guests would choose at random a recipient for the Gift of the Night. Whatever that gift was, whether it was one thrown into a tapioca filled swimming pool or fifteen gallons of eggnog down ones pants or what have you, it was guaranteed to be the worst gift of the night. For the past two years, Marluxia had been the receiver of said gift. Random recipient, my ass.

"No way in hell."

"Awh, come on, Marly, it'll be fun!"

"No."

"Ple-ease?"

"Forget it. I'm tired of your stupid parties."

"But you'll like this one, I promise."

"Why do I not believe you? For the last time, I said,"—puppy eyes—"okay."

Defeat.

"Yes!" Demyx jumped up and down in victory. "You won't be sorry, Marluxia!"

Despite that bit of reassurance, Marluxia felt all the more distraught. What had he just promised to do? Curse Demyx and his puppy dog eyes! Marluxia had a bad feeling about the entire event.

Almost as if on cue, Demyx's voice rose above the wailing woes of his mind. The only two words he heard before his friend ran back into the store and into the window were words that struck fear into the hearts of party goers everywhere: "white elephant".

x.x.x

Now, the practice of white elephant had been around for a remarkable amount of time, plaguing people lacking in the art of present hunting. The entire and seemingly simple point of white elephant was to buy, wrap, and present a present. But, that was the difficult part. There was no way of knowing who would get your present. The gifts were numbered and each person also was given a number, therefore complicating the gift getting process. One had to carefully choose a present that was one-size fits all. (This meant no ugly sweaters… Or it should have.) At the end of the night the presents were handed to the guest with the corresponding number and forced to act grateful and pretend they actually liked the gifts.

To Marluxia, the entire affair was silly. The concept of white elephant was just another excuse to spend money during the holiday season leaving one stuck with a pointless and probably useless piece of space. So why, in heaven's name, was he standing in front of Demyx's door with gift in hand?

He stared at the door, catching tidbits of conversation through the wood.

He could turn back. He could take the Christmas cactus he had bought as a gift and put it on his counter or in the middle of his table as a center piece. He could turn back, go home, and have a Catastrophe free night alone sans ugly sweater. The more he thought, the more appealing the idea of sitting on his couch with a big bowl of popcorn watching HGTV was to Marluxia. In fact, it was very appealing. There was a _Design on a Dime_ marathon tonight.

The only problem that he faced was getting his damned feet to move. He could hear Demyx's voice through the door and thought of all the things he would do to him if he didn't make an appearance after he had promised. _Damn._

What to do, what to do?

Suddenly it all became clear. He would do both. Walk in, walk out, and be home for the last half of the marathon. All was good. It worked! His plan was flawless.

Determined, Marluxia turned the knob and walked through the door only to be assaulted by a very drunk, very festive Demyx still in the elf costume from before.

"Marly, ya made it!" He had draped his arms around Marluxia's neck and was swaying to the Christmas music playing in the background. "Jus put yer box thing that way, I want to you meet someone. Hah!"

Before Marluxia had a chance to put his cactus anywhere safely, Demyx was pulling him through the crowds of people, throwing out little hello's and hey there's as needed.

Throng after throng was conquered as Marluxia and Demyx made their way through the house. Marluxia really wasn't sure how Demyx knew this many people, but he guessed that maybe people were just naturally drawn to him. He had been.

Demyx had a way of presenting himself that just made people want to be around him. The mysterious way that Demyx had of drawing people close is (needless to say) what made Marluxia want to be around the guy.

Even though he could be really annoying and make the idea of murder sound very appealing, Marluxia had to say that the drunken man pulling him along by the elbow was quite possibly the best friend he'd ever had. There was just something about him. It was like magic. He was-

"-amazing! I mean, the water polo team was never better!"

"Wha?"

"This kid here. Best damn water polo-er this side of-"

"Shut up, Dem."

Marluxia was brought rushing back to his senses. What voice had penetrated his ears? It was quite sexy. He looked over to see Demyx with his arm draped over the shoulders of the most beautiful piece of man candy this side of-

"His name's Riku," Demyx laughed. "Ain't 'e cute?"

_Hells yes._

Marluxia was thinking naughty thoughts. "Heh,"

"What you don't think so? I'd fuck him." The arm Demyx had around Riku's shoulder dropped to his waist and pulled him close to nuzzle his nose into Riku's neck.

Riku laughed, loud and beautiful. _Composure, composure!_

"Not if I fuck him first. And besides, Dem, you're straight. Where's your girlfriend?" Marluxia didn't miss the hungry look Riku had given him just then but pretended not to notice as he scanned the crowd looking for Demyx's girlfriend.

"She couldn't make it," he sniffled. "Ferret died. Poor Ralph, I knew him well."

"Should you really be holding a party right after Ralph died?" Marluxia asked, looking Riku up and down, not necessarily inconspicuously. Riku was casually dressed in a pair of jeans and a Radiohead t-shirt. (Marluxia felt pretty over dressed having donned his usual suit jacket and a dark blue sweater vest, although he did feel unusually mod this evening.) His silver hair was shimmering and looked very soft and fell comfortably around his tanned and beautiful face. His eyes were electric and blue, like a doorway into some other world, and they were staring right back into his eyes. The height difference, he noticed, wasn't drastic, but there was enough of one that Marluxia would need to lean down a bit to-

"-kiss and get it over with, ya know?"

Marluxia started. "What?"

"It's fine about the party, ya know? I'll just give her a kiss and get it over with. We'll be peachy as pie!" Demyx was such a charmer. Even if his girlfriend was angry and put off by her boyfriend's lack of compassion and sympathy in her time of need she wouldn't be for long once the two were alone together. Poor thing didn't stand a chance.

"You're terrible."

"Well you're one to talk, Marluxia. Fucking that poor man and then leaving him! You, sir, are the terrible one!" Demyx pointed.

"I don't know what you're talking about." _Stupid Demyx having to bring up stupid Xigbar. Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Let's just say that Xiggy wasn't the best of… partners. "You're totally shit faced."

"Damn straight! Now go! Leave me, Marly," Demyx shooed him with his hand. "I have important things to meet and people to do. A-nd we're off!" He grabbed Riku's shirt sleeve and pulled him off into the crowd.

Riku looked back as he was being dragged away by Demyx. Over the noise, Marluxia heard a small "catch you later" from Riku.

"Later" was all he could manage as Riku was engulfed by the crowd.

x.x.x

Later, it seemed, came much too late.

Marluxia was sitting on Demyx's couch, missing _Design on a Dime_, and cutting it extremely close to Gift of the Night time. Where was this kid, and why was he so infatuating?

His silver hair, his blue eyes, his sexy voice! Marluxia wanted more of him, to know him inside and out.

But why? It was all so new to him. Why did he care? He shouldn't. He only just met the kid.

Perhaps it was his confidence or the way he laughed like nobody could hear him or how his eyes showed every emotion he was feeling. It was pretty much the hottest thing-

"-in his pants! It was all drippy and oh my God! It made the worst mess, but I guess that's what happens when you do it on the floor and get everybody to help, right?"

Demyx's high laughter found Marluxia's ears and he looked over in shock and horror to see him telling Riku of The Incident (pt. 2).

Marluxia stared, dumbfounded. He thought that he made it very clear that no one was to talk of that ever again. Oo, Demyx was going to get it. He was really in for it.

"So you call it 'The Incident'?"

"Do what?"

Riku had made himself comfortable uncomfortably close to Marluxia on the couch. It wasn't that so much the proximity that made it uncomfortable really, but he could feel Riku breath and feel his heartbeat and smell his shampoo. Actually, it was all making him pretty-

"-hard to open presents without your number! That's right, you heard me. It's white elephant time! Come!" Demyx was beckoning everyone over. Sometime during the night, he had acquired a red bath towel and had tied it around his neck in a very Superman-esque sort of way. _Hmm, that was new, an elfish Superman._ In his hand, there was a cup full of numbered candy canes. "Gather 'round and let the gift giving commence!" In a matter of minutes, everybody had their candy cane thanks to the lightning fast speed and agility of their beloved Demyx Man.

"Number Eleven."

"I'm eighteen." Riku winked. "Excited?" He slowly unwrapped the candy cane. The plastic crinkled under his fingertips.

"No, not really," he crossed his legs. He wasn't emotionally excited. "I'm not so much excited as… apprehensive when it comes to Dem's parties."

"So I've heard. Fifteen gallons of eggnog, huh?"

"Oh, the chaffing."

Riku's laugh was beautiful, bright and full. Although the memory of getting fifteen gallons of eggnog down his britches was one that only brought back anger and mortification, just hearing Riku laugh made Marluxia want to laugh too. So he did.

It was beautiful.

A box was thrown into Marluxia's lap rather roughly while another whizzed past his head.

"Open," said Demyx, grabbing his towel-cape and turning dramatically, "I'm off to deliver more presents!"

"I thought you said you were eighteen," Marluxia thought out loud, looking at the big number twenty-four on a rather suspiciously familiar looking box.

"I am." Riku said, grinning at him, candy cane hanging from the corner of his mouth.

_Oh, a bit forward now are we?_

Marluxia turned his attention back to his present, carefully unwrapping the paper. "Wow, a plastic flamingo lawn ornament. How I've always wanted one. I live in an apartment. What do I do with it?"

"Put it in a corner, give it to an objectophile, burn it? The possibilities are endless. I'm sure the person was just trying to get rid of it."

Marluxia eyed the flamingo. Did the beak look oddly scorched? "What did you get?"

"A Christmas cactus." Riku held it up. "It's actually better than some of the other gifts I've gotten at least."

Curiosity perked, Marluxia asked him to elaborate.

"I've gotten a Reel Big Fuck CD, a copy of the _Joy Fuck Club_, and, strangely enough, a cock suck."

Marluxia mentally slapped the dirty thoughts away; some were not nearly slapped away fast enough. "Huh, strange."

"Yeah, the CD was pretty great though. Have you ever heard of them? Reel Big Fish is pretty cool. I didn't even bother reading the _Joy Luck Club_. Amy Tan was never one of my favorites. But the cock sock was the weirdest of them all. It was, like, lime green and scratchy, too." He sucked on the candy cane again, bringing it out with a small pop.

Marluxia groaned. Why did Riku have a candy cane? It should be forbidden for anyone to suck on phallic objects such as popsicles, zucchini, and candy canes at any time! It just wasn't fair…

"I should go." He said, looking at the clock that hung from the wall. "They're going to start the Gift of the Night sometime around now."

"No, stay," Riku pleaded, grabbing hold of Marluxia's sleeve. "Please?"

Marluxia was firm in his decision to leave. He turned his head, ready to deny the kid any further interaction with him, looked Riku straight in his gorgeous blue eyes and tell him no.

"Okay."

_Damn! Curse you will power!_

Riku's eyes lit up and he smiled. "But since you don't want to hang around for the Gift of the Night, why don't we go somewhere? You know, so they can't find us."

Marluxia caught a small flash of something in Riku's eye, wondering if it was the best thing to do, but he thought nothing more of it as Riku's hand found his own and led him discreetly away from the party.

x.x.x

Why he didn't want to come to this party in the first place was a mystery to him! (Well, if one took the threat of having something terribly wrong happening to him and follow him and shame him for the rest of his days it was certainly a mystery.) If he had passed up this chance, he never would have known how amazing candy canes could actually taste. It was all over Riku's mouth, and Marluxia couldn't get enough of it.

Riku's hands were traveling across Marluxia's chest, pulling off his suit coat and tossing it haphazardly to the floor. Riku's hands, his soft hands, caressed his face. Their eyes locked. The emotion in Riku's eyes pulled at Marluxia's heart. There was something there, something he wasn't sure about.

His sweater vest soon found its way to the floor next to his suit coat. The buttons were slowly one-by-one undone by soft hands. Marluxia ran the back of his hand across Riku's cheek. The hands on his buttons started to tremble just as the last one was undone, the fabric of the shirt hanging open. Riku kissed down Marluxia's neck and sucked at his collar bone as hands fought to undo his jeans.

Marluxia kissed the top of Riku's head as his hands roamed down his back and to the hem of his shirt, pulling up the hem just enough to get to the waistband of his jeans, slipping fingers in, he teased the skin.

"Mmh," came a sound from below him. With a last little kiss on his chest, Riku looked up into Marluxia's eyes. "Let me get that for you."

Riku led Marluxia to the only chair in the room. In their rush to find a room away from the party, the two had gone up the stairs and past the bedrooms (some already muffling exclamations of inappropriate behavior) and to the only room not occupied: Demyx's study.

The room was never used and everything in it was covered by a nice bit of dust. The walls were covered by bookshelves, some lacking in books. A chair and a desk were the only two pieces of furniture in the room. The desk, however, was covered in so much junk one could not recognize it as anything other than a pile of mess.

Instead of sitting right away, Marluxia stood by the chair and watched Riku move. He was so graceful, each move flawless and smooth in its execution.

The shirt was up and over his head first, landing somewhere on the desk. He was tantalizingly slow as he unbuttoned his jeans and let them drop to the floor. Boxers were the only thing left on his body. He made his was to where Marluxia was standing.

Eyes met again. The doors into Riku's soul. Marluxia stared into them, reading every emotion as it flashed across the surface. It was magical.

With a grin, Riku leaned up and took Marluxia's mouth, tongues and teeth clashing.

Both men fondled with the other's pant hems, Riku still working to get the button and Marluxia teasing the soft skin on Riku's pelvis.

He broke away, panting, staring into Marluxia's eyes. A string of spit stretched between them. "Tease."

Marluxia's pants were on the floor followed soon by his boxers. Riku's hands were on his chest again, moving the fabric of his shirt aside. He placed light kisses down his chest, licking down the trail of hair leading lower and lower. He kneeled in front of Marluxia and spat into his hand, placing it at the base of his erection. As he pumped Riku licked the tip, tasting the salty pre-cum gathered there. He silently cleared his throat before taking as much of Marluxia in as he could, letting his hand compensate.

Marluxia was over taken in euphoria. His legs felt as if about to give as Riku's tongue slid along the underside of his erection. He found himself having to clutch to the chair next to him for fear of his leg giving out. The entire sensation was amazing.

Marluxia's breath hitched. He knew he was close. He lightly pulled Riku off him and brought him up for kiss, the sweet candy cane taste marred by his own taste.

Finding Riku's waist, Marluxia finally rid him of his boxers, lightly ghosting his fingers over the length. Riku let out a shaky breath and stepped out of the boxer pooled at his feet and steered Marluxia to the chair next to him. Once Marluxia was seated, Riku straddled him, a leg on either side of Marluxia's hips.

Riku grabbed one of the hands that was holding his waist and sucked generously on the fingers letting them go with a pop and pushing up on his knees as a slicked finger gently slipped into his recesses.

Riku very much liked this position. He wasn't normally one to give up dominance but for this man, he would give up anything just to be with him, and, considering their position, it wasn't like he was completely relinquishing all of his dominance. He was still on top.

Riku moaned and nudged Marluxia signaling that he was done being prepared. Marluxia slowly slipped his fingers out of Riku, almost disappointed with not finding Riku's prostate. He blamed the awkward angle.

Marluxia found Riku's lips, tongue roaming all over as he positioned himself under Riku as he slowly pushed down, exhaling as he did so.

Marluxia had to say that this was his favorite part, sliding in. The pressure and tightness of it, of starting out, and then the release as he was pushed entirely into the man above him was just indescribably hot.

Riku grasped the back of the chair and slowly pushed off the chair with his knees, moving bit by bit, getting use to the fullness, Marluxia's hands on his hips were kneading his skin.

They were dancing together, thrusting and grinding, sweat sliding down their backs and chests. It was a beautiful thing, how they moved together, two becoming one.

Skin against skin, the proximity between the two closed in. Riku's blunt nails scrapped down Marluxia's arms, Marluxia sucking and biting Riku's neck, his hand between them, stroking Riku.

The sounds the two were making echoed in each other's ears, ringing in their heads and vibrating throughout their entire bodies.

There was a tightness growing within Marluxia, growing tighter with each thrust up, each grind down. Marluxia was on the edge, getting ever so closer, and he took a flying leap off as he came. He continued stroking Riku with one hand while another was at his hip urging him to move, to take that same flying leap.

Within moments, Riku was flying, soaring high, and burying his head in Marluxia's soft hair, breath hitching and body shaking with tremors.

The ringing stopped. The vibrations stopped. All that could be heard were the soft breaths as they held each other close. So close, and yet neither felt it was close enough.

The sweet silence was broken. "'It was a sad story how we became lonely two-legged creatures.'" _The story: the Origin of Love._

Riku looked up, beads of sweat shimmering as they ran down his temples. "What?"

"It's nothing." _Just a story._

"You should tell me sometime."

"Sure," Marluxia tangled his fingers in soft silver hair.

"So," Riku trailed, removing Marluxia from himself and standing up, "nice of you to come. To the party, I mean." He let out a short laugh. "I'm glad… that you came. It would have... not been the same."

"Yeah," Marluxia got up and used his sweater vest to clean his hand and chest as he located his jeans and boxers to put the on. "I'm glad I came, too."

Smiling, Marluxia helped Riku get dressed. He threw his suit coat over his shoulder and winked at Riku who smiled back. "You really are something, you know that?"

He grinned. "I get that all the time."

Marluxia laughed. "I'm not surprised."

Riku's eyes smiled, making his entire face light up as Marluxia draped his arm around his shoulders and opened the door.

Maybe Marluxia had this whole Christmas thing wrong. Maybe he was just not seeing the bigger picture. Good things happened during the holiday season. It wasn't all just a waste of time. It opened the human heart and made people realize what they had and what they should be grateful for.

It was actually a pretty cool time of year (no pun intended). He was suddenly caught up in holiday cheer! What a time! What a night! What a turn of events…

In a moment of involuntary action, Marluxia pulled Riku into a kiss full of happiness and, dare I say it, holiday spirit. What a kiss.

Maybe Demyx's Christmas Catastrophe wasn't so terrible after all.


End file.
